We model soooo many different behaviors for our children as parents, whether we realize it or not. At the top of that list? How to handle frustration when things don’t go our way. Let’s learn how to stop yelling with practice! Here are 10 simple ways to reset when emotions run high:
1. Take deep, slow breaths.
When you feel tension rising, pause and focus on your breathing. Put your hand on your heart to help ground yourself, and inhale deeply through your nose for four seconds, hold it for four seconds, and exhale through your mouth for another four. This “box breathing” calms your nervous system and sends a signal to your body that you’re safe, even if the moment feels overwhelming.
2. Turn on happy music.
Music has a magical way of shifting our mood. Keep a playlist of upbeat songs handy for moments when you need a pick-me-up. Whether you’re just singing along or starting a kitchen dance party, cheerful tunes can help you release stress and refocus.
3. Move to a different room.
A quick change of scenery can work wonders. Movement changes the mood! Walking into another room gives you space to break the cycle of frustration and see the situation from a fresh perspective. It’s a simple, effective reset.
4. Look up at the ceiling.
It may sound strange, but changing your gaze can shift your mindset. Looking up redirects your thoughts and creates a brief pause, allowing you to re-center before responding. (Bonus: it’s so subtle, your kids might not even notice!)
5. Step outside.
Nature is an incredible stress reliever. Even stepping into your backyard or onto the front porch for a few moments can help you feel present. Take a deep breath, feel the fresh air on your face, and let it work its magic.
6. Scribble on a piece of paper.
When emotions feel bottled up, grabbing a pen and scribbling wildly can be surprisingly therapeutic. It’s a safe way to channel frustration and regain focus. And if your kids catch you, invite them to join in the fun!
7. Wait. Give it time.
Not every situation needs an immediate response. If possible, take a moment to pause and let the intensity settle before addressing the issue. You might find that a little time and space brings clarity and helps you act with greater patience.
8. Sit down.
When tempers flare, standing can make you feel more on edge. Sitting down signals to your brain—and your family—that you’re choosing calmness over chaos. It creates a physical and emotional grounding effect.
9. Ask for help.
There’s no shame in leaning on your support system. Whether it’s asking your partner to step in, calling a friend, or even involving your kids in finding solutions, reaching out can ease your burden and remind you that you’re not alone.
10. Say, “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”
Parenting is hard! And don’t expect yourself to get it perfect every time. Remind yourself that your best effort is what truly matters. Speaking kind words to yourself creates a ripple effect of compassion for everyone involved.
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Staying calm is a skill that takes practice, but these small, intentional steps can help you navigate tough moments with empowerment and grace. Not only will you feel better, but you’ll also model resilience and self-regulation for your children. Remember: It’s their job to stay children, and it’s my job to stay calm.
If you’d like more help for staying calm, you might like these resources: