Everyone makes mistakes, kids and adults alike. While mistakes can feel inconvenient or tricky in the moment, they’re also great opportunities for growth. Helping your child repair after making a mistake is less about punishment and more about teaching responsibility, empathy, and problem-solving. Let’s discuss three ways to guide your child through this process in an empowering way.
1. Don’t Force an Apology
How many times have you heard a parent say, “Say sorry!” It can be tempting to demand a quick apology when your child has hurt someone or made a poor choice, but remember that forced apologies often backfire! They teach kids that it’s okay to give non-apologetic apologies, which you definitely would not want to receive as an adult. Worse, being forced to apologize under pressure feels so humiliating and counterproductive, leaving your child focused on their own discomfort rather than the impact of their actions.
2. Teach Empathy
Rather than simply pointing out what your child did wrong, help them step into the other person’s shoes. Ask questions like, “How do you think they felt when that happened?” or “Would you like to be treated that way?” These conversations encourage your child to consider the feelings of others and recognize the consequences of their actions.
Empathy is a skill that grows with practice. As your child becomes better at understanding others, they’ll also become more naturally inclined to make repairs on their own, and to avoid causing harm in the first place.
3. Show Faith in Their Ability to Make Things Better
When your child knows you believe in their ability to fix mistakes, it builds their confidence and resilience. Instead of telling them exactly what to do, model an apology or ask questions like, “How would you like to make things better?” This empowers them to take initiative and find their own solutions.
For example, if your child breaks a toy that belongs to a friend, you might say, “If I were in your shoes, I might say, ‘I’m really sorry for breaking your toy. Can I help fix it or replace it?’” You can also brainstorm options together, giving your child a sense of control over how they handle the situation.
“What To Do When You Make a Mistake” Printable Teaching Resource
Ready to put these steps into practice? I have designed a printable resource designed to help kids practice taking responsibility for their actions and making repairs after they have made a mistake. It’s called, “What To Do If You Make a Mistake: Learning How to Take Responsibility and Make Things Better.” Your family will learn accountability and practice repair through fun and interactive activities. Your children will gain skills such as:
- How to “Find Your Part” in a scenario, and to be accountable for your actions (get your binoculars ready!)
- How to respond to your own actions, instead of blaming others
- How to make things better for others and yourself!
They’ll come to learn that repairing mistakes isn’t just about saying the right words—it’s about taking responsibility, understanding others, and making things right. We shouldn’t expect our children to never make mistakes, but we can equip them with tools to move forward afterwards.
If you want more resources on teaching children emotional life skills, you might like these posts: