Talking to your kids about sex can feel intimidating, but it’s an important part of helping them grow into confident and informed adults. While the topic might feel awkward at first, approaching it thoughtfully can make all the difference. Here are four tips to guide you through these conversations.
1. Begin Conversations Young
It’s never too early to start teaching your kids about their bodies and relationships in age-appropriate ways. Starting young helps normalize the topic and creates an open foundation for future discussions.
For toddlers and preschoolers, you can begin with simple lessons about body parts using correct names, privacy, and boundaries. As they grow, you can introduce topics like friendships, emotions, and respect. This gradual approach makes the subject less overwhelming for everyone involved.
2. Have Both Parents Be a Part of Conversations
It’s essential for both parents to be involved in conversations about sex and relationships whenever possible. This doesn’t mean every conversation needs both parents present, but being able to talk to either parent about sex sends a clear message that the topic isn’t taboo or limited to one perspective.
Kids benefit from hearing from both mom and dad (or any parental figures in their lives), as each parent brings unique insights and experiences to the table. Even if one parent feels more comfortable leading the discussion, the other can chime in to show their support and shared values.
If you’re a single parent, don’t worry—what matters most is your willingness to engage in the conversation honestly and openly.
3. Have Not Just One Conversation, but Many
Sexual health and relationships aren’t topics you can cover in a single “big talk.” Instead, aim for ongoing conversations that evolve as your child grows.
Your child’s questions will change over time, and so should your answers. In their early years, you might discuss basic anatomy or how babies are made. By the time they’re teens, the focus may shift to relationships, healthy boundaries, or safe decision-making.
Regular, open communication keeps the door wide open for your child to come to you with questions, concerns, or curiosities. They’ll know it’s safe to talk to you about anything.
4. Check Your Anxieties at the Door
It’s normal to have your own anxieties and stresses over sexuality, but when having conversations with your child try to set those anxieties aside. Kids can pick up on your discomfort, which might make them anxious about sex and less likely to ask questions or listen closely.
Instead, focus on being calm and approachable. If you’re feeling unsure, take some time to prepare what you want to say, or even practice the conversation with your partner or a trusted friend.
Remember, the goal isn’t to have all the answers or give a perfect speech. It’s about send positive messages, fostering trust, sharing your values, and equipping your child with the tools they need to make healthy choices.
By starting early and having ongoing conversations, you’ll create a safe and supportive environment for discussing sex and relationships. Your openness now can help your child navigate these topics with confidence later.
If you would like more resources on how to talk to your kids about sex, you might find these resources helpful:
- Ladies Talking Love Podcast, Talking to Kids About Sex: part 1
- It’s Not the Stork!: A Book About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends, for ages 4-7
- It’s So Amazing!: A Book About Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families, for ages 8 and up
- How to Talk to Your Child About Sex: It’s Best to Start Early, but It’s Never Too Late, by Linda and Richard Eyre