Positive parenting is founded on the truth that children are born good and whole. It’s a parenting philosophy that seeks to build on a child’s strengths, while believing in the potential within.
Through behavioral and brain science we’ve learned that the best way to get rid of misbehavior in a home is to look for things that your children are doing well and make those behaviors stronger through positive reinforcement.
Because when a child feels well, they behave well.
The Four Foundational Principles of Positive Parenting
1. Be in Control of Yourself.
Your model speaks louder than any rules or limits you give your child. You set the standard for behavior.
It’s so easy to get caught up in all the little things that children do, but what matters far more, in the long run, is what you do.
What this looks like:
- If you want your children to keep their room clean, keep your room clean.
- Want your child to be respectful? Show them respect with your words and actions.
- If you want your child to listen to you, listen to them.
2. Teach Your Child
Far too often the reality that children are not born with an adult brain is overlooked and they are asked to perform without any deliberate teaching.
You are your child’s primary teacher. Teach your child in positive, engaging ways that will create a positive association with positive behavior.
What this looks like:
- Get down at the child’s level to send a message that you are a helper.
- Show the child what they CAN do through redirection.
- Role plays! Act it out in a fun and engaging way.
3. Look for the Good
The best way to reduce problem behavior in the home is to look for what your children are already doing well and reinforce it.
Building on their strengths rather than focusing on their weaknesses fosters confidence, individuality, and trust. It creates a brain that loves to behave well.
What this looks like:
- Speak to the future that you want to have. “You are a kind brother.”
- Focus on the progress. “Wow, look at all the work you’ve done!”
- Say what you like to see. “I love it when you stand right next to me in the store!”
4. Ignore the Junk
94% of inappropriate behaviors are inconsequential. Inconsequential behaviors are those that are annoying but don’t do lasting damage or destroy anything.
Rather than reinforcing those behaviors through your attention, look through all the noise to find something you want to have strengthened and give that positive reinforcement.
What this looks like:
- A child yelling at the parent while marching up the stairs. “Thank you for going up the stairs.”
- A child sits at the dinner table begrudgingly. “I’m so glad you are here with us.”
- Maybe children are fighting while another child plays quietly. Walk past the fighters and play with the happy child.
Positive Parenting Resource
We’ve compiled all this information into one amazing printable graphic guide for you to refer back to when you need a reminder. Share this with your family, friends, and anyone who cares for children.
Want to Learn More About Positive Parenting?
In 2017 I founded @simplyonpurpose where I share life-changing parenting truths with as many as will listen. Since its birth, this journey has become my biggest dream come true. Social media is allowing me to be part of over 400,000 homes. Most of all, I get to watch from a bird’s eye view as the world changes, one child at a time.
Here is an introduction of where, what, and how I change the world by teaching parents how to access their power to change their homes.
I’m here friend. And so are you. Are you ready to learn? Let’s go!
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