Traveling with kids can be an amazing adventure! And it can also feel super overwhelming with long days, packed schedules, and unfamiliar places–situations that can test anyone’s patience! But what if you could create a system that not only helps your children behave well, but also empowers them to make good choices???
That’s where the idea of the “Good Traveler” comes in. This concept, shared by my good friend @everydayreading, has transformed the way we approach travel with our kids.
Setting the Stage
Before heading out on a trip, we sit down with our girls and talk about how much effort it takes to have a smooth travel day. We emphasize that traveling requires both our minds and bodies to work hard—staying positive, being flexible, and using energy in a helpful way. We help them to see themselves as capable and essential members of the team.
We introduce the idea of being a “Good Traveler” as a family value. Good travelers are:
- flexible
- keep a positive attitude
- help others
- use their strong bodies to do hard things (like walking long distances or carrying their own backpacks)
- and practice patience.
*Pssst: Framing these qualities in a positive light gives them something to aspire to, rather than a list of behaviors to avoid.
The “Good Traveler” System
Here’s how it works:
- Through out each day of travel and watch for those positive qualities in your kids. At the end of the day, each child who showed “Good Traveler” qualities gets $5. This money is theirs to spend on souvenirs, treats, or fun experiences during the trip! Now, they’re empowered to make real choices with their money. They’ve earned it, and they can decide how to use it.
- Be careful not to use the money as a punishment. Instead of threatening to take it away if they make mistakes, we focus on encouraging them. I often speak light into them throughout the day, reminding them of who they are and what good travelers do. For example, I’ll say, “Wow, you were so patient while we waited in line—that’s exactly what a good traveler does,” or “Thank you for carrying your bag without complaining! You must be a good traveler.”
- Celebrate their efforts, even if they are small! I often bring gold star stickers to give out throughout the day. Parents have the power to create momentum, both for good and bad behavior. Keep the positive energy going by checking your own attitude and making sure they know you see how great things are going.
Why It Works
The “Good Traveler” system works because it taps into intrinsic motivation. It builds your child’s self-image as someone who is capable and positive in new situations. It gives them ownership over their choices, which is a powerful way to reduce power struggles.
Plus, it makes traveling more fun for everyone! By focusing on what’s going well and celebrating those moments, you’re setting a positive tone for the entire trip. And as a bonus, you’re raising kids who know how to handle the challenges of travel with grace and confidence.
Try It Out
Next time you’re planning a trip, give the Good Traveler system a try! Talk to your kids about the effort it takes to have a great travel day, introduce the $5 reward, and watch as they rise to the challenge. You might just find that your travel days become smoother, more enjoyable, and filled with moments that remind you why you’re making these memories together.
If you would like more resources about traveling with your family, you might enjoy these:
- 5 Travel Hacks for a Family Road Trip
- What to Do When You Get Lost – Print Shop Resource
- The 15 Best Yoto Cards: My Favorites Sorted by Age
This is a great idea! But what do you do if they start fighting or aren’t a good traveler? Where do you draw the line? Do they get less money or no money?
Traveling will have hard moments, guaranteed. But where age-appropriate, talk to them about how you expect them to respond to those hard moments. So it’s up to you! But if you walk in each day assuming that they WILL do great, they can feel your faith in them! I keep encouraging, state expectations proactively, stay calm myself, and call in light.
I fear this will lead to meltdowns when some kids earn the money and another inevitably doesn’t. How would you handle? Going on a big trip in a couple of weeks with 5yo fiend and 9yo.
If you do everything you can to be in control of yourself and to encourage them and they still have a hard moment (or more), don’t be surprised! This is just the beginning of teaching what a good traveler looks like. Try having a conversation with them about how you both think the day went and what they could do better the next day. Giving them the money shows that you believe they can make the next day better. The more practice they have with traveling with a good attitude and having positive reinforcement attached, the more they will choose to behave well because they WANT to.
You’re giving out stickers to your (mostly) grown kids, one of whom is in college. Isn’t that kind of babyish, or does she go for it too?
The stickers are just for when they are a lot younger, as a way to build momentum.
Do you ever not give one of the children the money? Or do you always give it to them regardless of if they actually were a “good traveler” that day?
If you do everything you can to be in control of yourself and to encourage them and they still have a hard moment (or more), don’t be surprised! This is just the beginning of teaching what a good traveler looks like. Try having a conversation with them about how you both think the day went and what they could do better the next day. Giving them the money shows that you believe they can make the next day better. The more practice they have with traveling with a good attitude and having positive reinforcement attached, the more they will choose to behave well because they WANT to.