The 5 love languages for kids are a parent’s best tool to deeply connect with their children and fill their lives and hearts with love.
The 5 Love Languages
Are you familiar with the term, “love languages”?
The 5 love languages were developed by marriage counselor Gary Chapman, describing in detail how people like to give and receive love in different ways.
In his theory, Chapman described five unique languages for expressing love.
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts
- Quality time
- Physical touch
We not only feel loved when our language is “spoken” but we EXPRESS our love with that language as well.
Why Love Languages are Important
Have you ever visited a country where you didn’t speak the language?
Or even a country where you did speak the language but talk of placing the groceries in “the boot” thoroughly confused you?!
It is so incredibly frustrating to be misunderstood.
Now imagine these same “language barriers” in our closest relationships when we are simply trying to show love.
This is why it is essential to understand the love languages of our loved ones. It helps us express and accept love in ways that strengthen and deepen our connection with the people around us.
Parents! It’s so much easier to fill your child’s little heart with love if you speak and understand their language!
How Love Languages Apply to Kids
Chapman’s five love languages are universal: physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and words of affirmation.
These languages are the same for children, teens, and adults, though they will manifest in different ways.
For example, as an adult with the love language of acts of service, you might love when a partner puts gas in your car, while a child would appreciate extra help with homework or a parent making their bed for them.
As parents, our top priority is to love our children well.
We start doing this by first knowing, and then understanding our child’s love language.
Identifying a Love Language
Every person has a way they feel the most loved.
When you are first learning about love languages, it is important to know your preferred language in addition to those in your closest relationships.
There are two ways to discover a love language.
- For older children, teens, and adults, we recommend taking a simple quiz. This can be done online, or our printable quiz can be completed by each member of your family.
- For young children, we recommend good old-fashioned sleuthing on the part of the parents. As you learn about the 5 languages, they will become easier to recognize in your children.
Does your child always cuddle up to you if you sit down or ask for back scratches at bedtime? You probably have a kid who loves physical touch.
Does your child treasure birthday cards filled with sweet sentiments from relatives? Your child might love words of affirmation.
Things to remember:
- Every person will have a primary love language that goes straight to the heart, but it does not mean that the other four types of love should be completely eliminated or ignored.
- As your child grows and develops, so will their love languages. Plan on re-taking the quiz as your child grows and their needs change.
- There are no incompatible love languages, only opportunities to love each other.
Practical Uses for Love Languages
Knowing the love languages of your children can be useful in daily interactions as well as in special circumstances.
Trying to decide what to do for a child’s upcoming birthday? Love languages to the rescue!
If they love quality time, maybe consider a one-on-one date instead of an expensive gift.
Is your child having a hard day at school? What insight can their love language give you?
A words of affirmation child would love a sweet note in their lunch box while a meaningful gift child would love a special bookmark or fidget toy packed in their backpack.
Need help thinking of ideas? Check out this crowd-sourced list of ways parents “speak” to their child’s love language.
5 Love Languages for Kids: Printable Guide and Quiz
Because we feel so passionately about the simplicity and impact love languages can have on your relationships, we’ve created an easy resource for you to instantly download in our print shop.
The 5 Love Languages for Children bundle includes a quiz that can be printed out for each child in the family. The 30-question quiz has simple scenarios for children to choose between. Total their answers to discover their primary and secondary love language.
Included are clues to help you identify your kids’ love language if they’re too young for the quiz and lots of ideas for connection once you have a better grasp on how your kid’s brain works.
We have also included a chart to help parents connect more with their children based on their love language.
If you want more tools to be a better parent, you might also like these other resources.
We needed this tonight! Literally an answer to prayer. I’m excited for your blog and what a great resource it will be!
Doing this as a family for Valentine’s tonight – thanks so much for sharing.