Does the thought of finding MORE time to do anything, even something as important as spending quality time with each of your kids, seem completely daunting?
We are here to simplify the way you think about quality time so you can see that it is not only manageable but invaluable too.
What Quality Time Looks Like
Being a parent is a constant battle of prioritizing how and where we spend our time.
So how can you get the most bang for your buck when it comes to connecting with your kids?
Enter QUALITY TIME
Quality time is focused, uninterrupted time spent one-on-one with a child.
Quality time can look many different ways depending on child age and interest, but it always has the same goal: parent-child connection.
What does connection look like?
- laughing
- making eye contact while talking
- asking thoughtful questions
- voicing strengths and compliments
- touching
- smiling
- having all devices and distractions put away
Remember, fostering parent-child connection is the most important part of quality time. You do not need to plan something long or expensive. You just need intention behind what you do and your focused attention on your child.
How to Make Time for Connection
“Okay Ralphie, I want to feel more connected to my child, but how do I make the time?”
What if I told you that research says a child needs a minimum of 9 minutes of one-on-one time a day?
If we communicate with our children during the 9 most important minutes of their day, they are much more likely to feel centered and loved.
When are those 9 minutes?
3 minutes after they wake up
3 minutes when they come home from school
3 minutes at bedtime
Even the busiest parents can carve out a minimum of 9 minutes a day for each of their children. You do not need to schedule out huge blocks of time for your children, but practice being completely present and open with them in the time you do have.
Benefits of Quality Time
Our children know we are busy.
They know we have a million things we could be doing, so they LOVE it when we set aside special time dedicated just to them. (This is especially true for a child with the love language of quality time).
When we spend one-on-one time with our children, we are sending them the message, “You are loved just the way you are!”
When we get on their level and listen as we look into their eyes, we say, “You matter! What you say and feel is important to me.”
In addition to sending messages of love, when we spend quality time with our children we are fulfilling their need for loving connection. Understand that children NEED connection every day. They need it as much as they need food.
And when we deepen that parent-child bond, we will find that connection regulates the child so that they don’t have to resort to misbehaviors in order to get their needs met.
Ideas for Quality Time with Kids
Remember, a parent-child connection is the most important part of quality time.
This can be done simply by putting your phone away and asking your child, “do you want to play with me?” Imagine their delight as you get down on their level and let them lead you through their imaginative play.
If you have older children, ask them to run an errand with you. Leave the music off and practice asking questions that cannot be answered with one-word responses.
This year one of my goals is to go on a mini-date with my girls once a week.
When I mentioned this on Instagram, so many of you chimed in with enthusiasm and excellent suggestions!
We compiled all the ideas (some take a few minutes, some a few hours) into a printable list for our community to benefit from. If you ever find yourself in need of ideas, start here.
I promise that those small, precious moments of quality time will add up to a deep and flourishing relationship between you and your child.
If you want more tools for connection, you might also like these other resources.
- 5 Love Languages for Kids: A Simple Guide to Using Love Languages
- Seeking Power vs. Seeking Connection Discussion
- Magic of Positive Momentum: 3 Simple Ways to Add More Fun into Your Parenting
Do you have ideas on how to do that with multiple little ones? Like I have a 3 year old and 2 year old and 5 month old. So the 2 and 3 year old get up at the same time and go to bed at the same time. It’s never one on one. When the 2 year old naps I have that time with the 3 year old but never time with just the 2 year old.